Limiting beliefs, limiting emotions and unmet needs all play into a story that you made up about yourself a long time ago. 

Your destiny and your story will not change unless you do something about changing it.  You've heard the expression, "for things to change then you must change".

You are struggling because you are hanging onto your story because in your mind, that is all you have.  Who would you be without the story?

Your story isn't about growth.  If it was, you would be successful beyond your wildest dreams. 

Your story is about survival and maintaining the business, the spouse, the kids, the friends, the house, the wardrobe, the cars, the cottage, the boat,  the timeshare, the two - three holidays a year, the golf membership, the personal trainer and your investments.

Your story is about survival.

Your "survival" story relates again to limiting beliefs, limiting emotions and unmet needs and here are some examples;

• Unmet Need;  Safety

• Limiting Beliefs;  I don't have enough money.  I don't have enough time.

• Limiting Emotion;  Fear
   

• Unmet Need;  Approval

• Limiting Beliefs;  People don't appreciate what I do for them.  If I make changes what will people think?

• Limiting Emotion;  Anxiety

With this survival story going on below the surface, and in order to not experience the above emotions, you keep working and working and working with these underlying issues believing that more work will solve your problems only to recreate more of the same experiences that you create time and time again.

The reason that this happens is coining a phrase from John Kehoe, "Thoughts are real forces".  You continue to create whatever you believe.

Yes you are successful and you do achieve results.  The question is, are you as successful as you really want to be?  The question is are you truly fulfilled? 

Even though you have the business, the spouse, the kids, the friends, the house, the wardrobe, the cars, the cottage, the boat,  the timeshare, the two - three holidays a year, the golf membership, the personal trainer and your investments - do you truly feel fulfilled?

What is sad is -

With the unmet need of safety fueling the limiting beliefs of, "I don't have enough money" & "I don't have enough time", combined with the limiting emotion of fear combined with the lack of fulfillment from all the stuff that you bought to fill up the lack of fulfillment will all combine to keep you working and working and working.  This is what is contributing to you not putting in place, the necessary pieces in your business to make you and your business more attractive and profitable .

With the unmet need of approval fueling the limiting beliefs of, "people don't appreciate what I do for them & If I make changes what will people think", combined with the limiting emotion of anxiety combined with the lack of fulfillment from all the stuff that you bought to fill up the lack of fulfillment will all combine to keep you working and working and working.  This is what is contributing to you not putting in place, the necessary pieces in your business to make you and your business more attractive and profitable .

Could it be that you are still working to prove that you are good enough and that this is what recreates the incompletions that you are experiencing in your business? 

• Unmet Need;  Prove

• Limiting Belief;  I am not good enough

• Limiting Emotion;  Despair

Remember Ben Franklin's definition of insanity;  "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result".

I'm taking the liberty to change the quote to read; 

"Doing the same thing over and over again with the same limiting beliefs, limiting emotions and unmet needs and expecting a different result".

Your story was contrived and imprinted into your mind a long time ago by the experiences and the people that were in your life and you have been working and working to disprove the story ever since only to recreate and imprint the same or similar story over and over again.

Your internal limiting beliefs, memories, perceptions and scripts all fit into your story that was deeply imprinted in you a long time ago.  Functional or not, all internal limiting beliefs, memories, perceptions and scripts are the foundation or the base on which you establish all meaning in your life.  In order for you to feel safe you will continue to re-create your story in some way,shape or form repeating the same behaviors over and over again even though they do not work.

My survival based story was based on what  my father said to me when I was 7 or 8 years old, "you will never have any money".  One day he also said to me, "you are so selfish, what are people going to think of you".  These two imprinted beliefs were said after my mother and father found me on a mechanical pony ride in a department store while they were shopping.  I was having the time of my life.  I had won a dollar in a long forgotten competition and the money was burning a whole in my pocket so I changed it into dimes and rode the pony while waiting for my mother and father.  No - in later years I didn't go the race track.  :-)  In fact, I've never been to one.

This was an early example of trying to get money to buy me happiness.  At a young age I believed that money would buy me happiness.  I was holding the dollar bill for quite a while and it wasn't making me any happier.  So I thought that I would get rid of it on the pony.  On a deeper level I was likely feeling that there was something wrong with me because the money wasn't making me happy of fulfilled, which is what a lot of people do.

The money doesn't make them happy so they go out and get stuff.  Some are mortal and some are  material that includes;  the business, the spouse, the kids, the friends, the house, the wardrobe, the cars, the cottage, the boat,  the timeshare, the two - three holidays a year, the golf membership, the personal trainer and your investments - do you truly feel fulfilled?

So why was I wanting to get rid of the money which I believed I wanted?  If you have heard me speak you will remember my story about when I was 8 years old.  My mother used to come to me and tell me that there wasn't any money for groceries or Christmas.  That my father had gone and done it again, that he had bought too much and not sold enough.  My mother and father constantly fought about money.

So I thought if I could get some of it, I would be happy and fulfilled.  On the contrary, once I got some money and when it didn't make me feel happy and fulfilled it reminded me of how unhappy and unfulfilled I really was so I had to get rid of it for something else.

I started at a very young age with the imprinting of my story of not feeling happy and fulfilled.  This drove my need to sell which I worked extremely hard at to create the results.  Then I created the result.  So what I thought.  I don't feel happy and fulfilled.  Then I better buy the next thing.  I still don't feel happy and fulfilled and worse yet I don't have any money and time and people don't appreciate me and what will people think!  I better work and work and work and sell and sell and sell.

Versus building a strong personal foundation by working with a coach and building a business.

Subconsciously you keep remembering the story and related stories and you continue to work and work and work to prove that the story is correct.  Without realizing it, you associate all meaning in your life and business based on this story and you will work and work and work to your long term disadvantage to validate this story.

Your story in essence validates your needs, beliefs and emotions and you will mistrust, ignore, disbelieve, invalidate and even attack anything that doesn't fit into your pattern of survival.

Your story has become your religion.  Note that I didn't say God.

Because that is what you are trying to do is to survive and coming from the place of survival, that is all you will ever do.  You will however survive in a good way having the business, the spouse, the kids, the friends, the house, the wardrobe, the cars, the cottage, the boat,  the timeshare, the two - three holidays a year, the golf membership, the personal trainer and your investments - do you truly feel fulfilled?

"Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result", even though it doesn't work is what is safe and predictable and tricks you into thinking that you are being effective.

When you consider expanding your comfort zone, it is always unpredictable and will likely make you feel even more anxiety so you better go back to the devil that you know.

The repeated patterns of, "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result", even though it doesn't work is familiar.

The familiar and predictable locks you into another set of limiting beliefs of, "maybe this is fate" or "maybe this is all there is" or "maybe I wasn't meant to be successful as I want to be".

The familiar and predictable locks you into repeated patterns of safety and survival trying to get your needs met, combined with limiting beliefs and limiting emotions sabotages your vision, dreams, creativity, intention all leading to despair and to an ever deepening rut.

What is the difference between a rut and a grave?  6 feet.

The compounded repetition and familiarity of this story has become your jailer.

Your story today is you are likely struggling and hanging onto what you have.  What you have has become who you are and you are maintaining your story to survive, even though survival doesn't work which could, in the end, have long term consequences.

So why would you even dare hire a coach to deal with creating more or less of the following?  Why?  Because your story has become your identity.

• More appreciation

• More big picture vision

• More confidence

• More energy

• More high net worth clients

• More or better customer service and marketing systems

• More profit

• More profitable clients

• More quality referrals

• More recognition for their work

• More team work

• More time for planning

• More time for themselves and their family

• Less busy work

• Less distraction

• Less or fewer unprofitable products

• Less overhead

• Less paperwork

• Less unprofitable and demanding clients

Changing your story can be difficult and it is not impossible.

The first step is for you to become honest with the fact that you are the one that is creating the story.

While understanding that you are the author of the story and with the combined understanding of the theory will help in the process but it requires more.

Most of the time it requires working with someone that is familiar with this kind of work to help you to see your way through the forest and the trees.  Someone that can provide you with the time, understanding, systems and some tough love that will help you to hold yourself to a higher standard.  Through this you will create new and long lasting stories that will eliminate the old stories.

It took years to create the old stories and it will take a long lasting commitment to create and remember the brand new stories that you are creating.  The good news is, you will create never ending happiness and fulfillment through the process.

The Question Isn't About Whether You Have Self Confidence Or Self Esteem - The Question Is;  Do You Have Enough Self Confidence and Self Esteem?