Welcome to "More Profit & More Time"

In this issue:

Part 1 – Coaching Case Studies

Have You Emotionally Retired?  And What To Do About It!

Part 2 – Resources & Classifieds Section

A Few Reminders + New Password to Leading Advisor Resources

Tell Your Friends

Part 3 – Reilly's Reflections & Rants

2005 Is Half Over.  Are You On Track To Reach Your 2005 Goals?  Even Though You Are Not On Track To Meet Your Goals, Will You Coast Through The Summer?  Will You Do What You Have Always Done And Push & Stress Through The Last Four Months Of The Year To Meet Your Goals?

What Is A Blog?

You Didn’t Have “The Conversation”

“What we have here is a failure to communicate!”

Succession Planning

How many pay days do you have left?

I would love to hear your feedback, let me know what you think.

Simon Reilly
sreilly@leadingadvisor.com

Part 1 – Coaching Case Studies
 

Have You Emotionally Retired?  And What To Do About It

Have you emotionally retired from your business, your personal life or both?

Is this because you didn’t learn how to emotionally inspire yourself in the beginning of your working life way back when?

Note – retire / inspire.

If you haven’t already emotionally retired, when will emotional retirement happen to you?

When you are 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60, 65 or … or again, has it happened, or is it happening right now?

With the cost of retirement looming and compounding by the minute, can you, your business or family afford for you to emotionally retire?

Read on to;

• Understand emotional retirement

• What you can do so that emotional retirement does not happen to you

• What you can do if emotional retirement has already happened to you

Please note that the following is a snap shot of the foundation that I use in the “Leading Advisor Coaching Program”.  Whether you are a seasoned professional making seven figures or just starting out, this information applies to you and will save you many years of struggle down the line.

So what is emotional retirement?

We’ve given emotional retirement many different labels in the past.  Burn out, funk, slump, unmotivated … and within the word unmotivated lays the crux of the problem.

Motivation just doesn’t work.  Motivation is unsustainable.  Motivation only lasts for a short period of time.

I should know.  I owned an Anthony Robbins Franchise from 1990 – 1995 which was #1 in North America from 1991 – 1992 for the sale of the video based Unlimited Power Weekend Seminar.  The Unlimited Power Weekend Seminar was all about motivation.  I honestly stood back at times and said, “how come this stuff doesn’t work?” 

From 1993 to date I have extensively studied Coaching, Counseling, Emotional Release Work, Family Systems Theory and Inner Child Work to deepen my understanding to gain the answers and develop a system to create a Scientific Approach to sustainable motivation.

And guess what, motivation cannot be sustained.

Here is why.

Let’s look at the source of the word motivation in the dictionary.

“Motive – the sense of need, fear, etc.” – Webster’s Dictionary.

Why on earth would you want to be motivated by a need or fear?

For if you take action based upon the avoidance of a need or a fear you may very well get the results and in the end, you will still be haunted by the need and the fear.  And as soon as you meet the short term need or fear, poof, your motivation went away until the next time you are in need or fear.  Not a happy existence.

Need

A need cannot be met by something outside of the self and examples are: by a person, place, possession, position etc.  A simple example is how many times have you heard a person say, “I’ll be happy when I make the million dollar level?”

One of the most common unmet needs is “recognition”.

If you have an unmet need, the unmet need is the foundation for a series of limiting beliefs and emotions.

The unmet need of recognition is what leads to your emotional retirement.

Here is why.

The unmet need of recognition is something that was left over from your childhood development.

It is a dysfunctional source of motivation for you to give and give and give your time and energy to people with the belief that they will recognize you for the great work that you are doing to complete the piece of childhood development.  The only challenge is again, an unmet need cannot be met by a person, place, possession, position, etc.

At the same time, as you struggle to get your unmet need of recognition met you carry limiting beliefs of “It doesn’t matter what I do, people don’t appreciate it, they just seem to take and take and take.”

There is enough quantum physics theory around today that I don’t have to go into the scientific explanation for you to agree with me that;

• Thoughts are real forces (John Kehoe – Mind Power)

• You attract what you think about

• You are what you believe

The unmet need coupled with the limiting beliefs leaves you with an array of emotions that include; sadness, anger, disappointment, rejection etc.

So at the end of the day, you say to yourself; “Why bother, what is the use”.  “It doesn’t matter what I do, people don’t appreciate it, and they just seem to take and take and take.”  And you give up.

Worse yet, you are feeling bitter and angry because you gave and gave and gave your time and energy to people without getting your need met.

Fear

A fear is based on a painful emotion caused by impending danger or evil or state of alarm which again is based upon something outside of the self.  A simple example is that the person’s fear in the above example was motivated by the limiting belief that “there isn’t enough money”, and I suggest that even though they make the million dollar level, there will always be;

• another person with more money that they can compare themselves to and remind them that they don’t have enough and that they are not safe

• another place to go to that costs more money than they have to remind them that they don’t have enough and that they are not safe

• another possession that costs more money than they have to remind them that they don’t have enough and that they are not safe

• another position that someone else has that reminds them that they are no good enough and that they are not safe

Another common unmet need is “safety”.

If you apply the same theories from the above on the need of recognition that I offered around the relationship of an unmet need to limiting beliefs to emotions then the following would apply;

• Unmet need = safety

• Limiting belief = clients, business, money etc. are hard to get

• Emotions = anxiety, fear, worry etc.

So with this deadly combination brewing beneath the surface you approach your clients and business appearing to be very needy and self absorbed struggling to get your needs met from your clients and business and you just can’t seem to close a sale.

And worse yet, you can’t even see it.  But your clients and colleagues do.  I am sure that you have heard the expression, “they are so far behind that they think that they are first!”

Instead of having a consciousness to add value to your client and business your subconscious and conscious minds are preoccupied with managing your own needs, limiting beliefs and emotions and you simply do not have the space to give your client and business the 101% attention that they need.

So at the end of the day, you say to yourself “why bother, what is the use?”  “Maybe I should have listened to my mother and gotten a steady job with a steady pay check”.  “Maybe I just wasn’t cut out to be someone in business or on commission”. 

So on a side note, the next time you hear “Motivational Speaker”, RUN!

In summary, trying to get motivated to get out of Emotional Retirement will continue the struggle of trying to become “inspired” by trying to get needs met and fears eliminated by something outside of the self.

The key word is here is “inspired” and trying to get “inspired” by something outside of the self is impossible.

“Inspire – imparting an influence on the mind and the soul” – Webster’s Dictionary.

So how do you systematically create sustainable inspiration from the inside out?

Let me offer this very simple and very effective example.

In advance of every day;

• Define your Values. 

• Define the Feelings that you want to experience as a result of expressing your Values.

•  Define the Positive Beliefs that you want to experience as a result of expressing your Values and Feelings.

The above is not a silver bullet or quick fix.  There isn’t one.  I believe it was Jim Rohn that said “success is a few simple disciplines practiced every single day”. 

You have heard the old saying that “it takes 21 days to break a bad habit”.

Here is my 21 day challenge, for the next 21 days I challenge you to do the following exercise in your journal;

I observe my Value of _______ is being met and therefore I feel ______ resulting in the Positive Belief that _________________________________.

Here is an example using my business situation;

I observe my Value of Teaching is being met and therefore I feel Excited resulting in the Positive Belief that my writing skills are getting better and better and I am adding more and more value to the clients whom I serve.

Here is an example using a business situation that might apply to you;

I observe my Value of Listening is being met and therefore I feel Passionate resulting in the Positive Belief that my research and presentation skills are getting better and better and I am adding more and more value to my clients every time I offer a proposal.

Here is another example using a business situation that might apply to you;

I observe my Value of Abundance is being met and therefore I feel Excited resulting in the Positive Belief that I am attracting more abundant and qualified clients through my actions and thoughts.

Again, please note that this is a snap shot of an extensive component of the "Leading Advisor Coaching System".

The outcome is for you to create "More Profit & More Time".

For a list of my Values go here;
http://www.leadingadvisor.com/about/values.html

For the Complete List of Values go here;
http://www.leadingadvisor.com/resources/archives/2005/01/values_workshee.html

For the Complete List Feelings go here;
http://www.leadingadvisor.com/resources/archives/2005/01/feelings_worksh.html

I would very much like to hear from you about the results that you have created for yourself as a result of doing this exercise so that you can be an inspiration to yourself and others.

Please e-mail me at; sreilly@leadingadvisor.com

Part 2 – Resources & Classifieds

A Few Reminders

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• the main page of our website click or go to;
  www.leadingadvisor.com
   
• my blog is here;
  www.leadingadvisor.com/blog/
   
• the products section of our website;
  www.leadingadvisor.com/products/
   
• past e-newsletters and worksheets click or go to;
  www.leadingadvisor.com/resources/

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Tell Your Friends

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  Part 3 – Reilly's Reflections & Rants

2005 Is Half Over.  Are You On Track To Reach Your 2005 Goals?  Even Though You Are Not On Track To Meet Your Goals, Will You Coast Through The Summer?  Will You Do What You Have Always Done And Push & Stress Through The Last Four Months Of The Year To Meet Your Goals?

Now is a great time to ask these tough questions.

To help you get on track …

Create a Clear, Focused & Realistic Statement of Your Intentions
http://www.leadingadvisor.com/resources/archives/2005/01/
simonas_success.html
 

Why - The most important "W" is Why do you want the Vision?
http://www.leadingadvisor.com/resources/archives/2005/01why_the_most_im.html
 

Goals - Defining your 90 day goals and turning your vision into a set of practical and measurable goals.
http://www.leadingadvisor.com/resources/archives/2005/01/goals_defining.html
 

What Is A Blog?

There isn’t a day or two that goes by that someone doesn’t ask me what is a Blog.

For those that are reading my Blog on a regular basis it enables them to stay in touch with what is going on with other clients (anonymously of course), my coaching practice and my personal life.

I’ve attached the official definition of what is a Blog at the end of this e-mail.

I’ve included a couple of the Blogs that I’ve written over the past two weeks that may be of interest.

To go to my Blog go here:  http://www.leadingadvisor.com/blog/

Here is a list of the Blog entries that I have written over the past two weeks:

You Didn’t Have “The Conversation”

While in the process of the Conflict Resolution Session that I facilitated yesterday, I was reminded of the story of - You Didn’t Have “The Conversation”.

You Didn’t Have “The Conversation” relates to the business person that shares with their colleague … “just right out of the blue, my spouse just left me without warning”.

This could have been prevented if they had had, “The Conversation”.

“The Conversation” would have gone something like this …

The business person shares with their spouse from time to time over the course of a 25 year period a Vision.

That they are a team and that the business person is working for the greater good of both of them and their family.

That for the early to mid years of the business persons working life, the business person would be burning the midnight oil working the extra hours to lay the financial foundation for their family, their home, their investments, children’s education, travel, resort home and retirement. As the business person enters into more of the fruitful years of the business, there will be more time for the two of them to enjoy the fruits of the labor. That again, the business person is doing this for the both of them so that there can come a day, that they can enjoy each other on a full time basis traveling, visiting friends and enjoying leisure activities together.

What happens is “The Conversation” doesn’t happen and the spouse that isn’t working isn’t included or communicated to and just as the business person is nearing “their” dream, the spouse that is not communicated to retaliates for a lack of inclusion and leaves.

“What we have here is a failure to communicate!”

 The next few days are going to be about facilitating communication through; 

•  a Team Building Workshop with a Financial Services Firm

•  a Conflict Resolution Session between two partners

There is either Understanding or there is Judgment.

When we are consumed by the fear based ego mind it is impossible to deal with;

Concerns & Issues

based on

Limiting Beliefs

charged with

Emotion

with

Unmet Needs

at the core.

Conflict & Judgment will continue when there is No System to Communicate with the Concerns & Issues based on Limiting Beliefs charged with Emotion with Unmet Needs at the core.

When there is no understanding, there is judgment. When there is judgment, there is no understanding. Judgment and no understanding is a venomous breeding ground for the fear based insane ego mind to look for differences and fault.

According to Dr. Wayne Dyer, the Ego is made up of the following ingredients.

1. I am what I have. My possessions define me.

2. I am what I do. My achievements define me.

3. I am what others think of me. My reputation defines me.

4. I am separate from everyone. My body defines me alone.

5. I am separate from all that is missing in my life. My life space is disconnected from my desires.

6. I am separate from God. My life depends on God’s assessment of my worthiness.

The all consuming ego blocks communication with it’s obsession of outside perceptions of what others think of possessions, achievements, reputation, body image, life image and worthiness.

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark … Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours." -Ayn Rand

Succession Planning

I had the opportunity to discuss Succession Planning over lunch yesterday with a Lawyer that specializes in Succession Planning.

We are talking about an opportunity to work together on Succession Planning

My role would be to help owners choose the right successor by using Values & Behaviors Assessments.

* Values = Why we do what we do.

* Behaviors = How we do what we do.

Values & Behaviors Assessments can be used to Benchmark the Values & Behaviors of the;

* Owner
* The Business
* The Successor

I believe it was Ted Rogers that said, a succession plan should be ten years in the making. What do these 12 names have in common:

Bronfman
Cuddy
Bentall
Mitchell
McCain
Steinberg
Billeses
Bata
Eaton
Phelan
Pritzker
Maritz

These companies all tried to manage financial wealth with a lack of communication wealth. They had no or incomplete succession plans.

This resulted in millions & millions in company losses and lawsuits.

In some cases they even lost the company.

In some cases family members have been banished from the company.

* 37% of business is family owned
* 70% don’t make it past the 2nd generation
* 90% don’t make it past the 3rd generation

All these large companies, built by very smart people, were torn apart by jealousy and suspicion.

The choice is to Understand or to Judge. If there is Judgment it is impossible to Understand. We Judge what is different or what we do not understand. When we understand we have empathy, respect and wisdom and we join with members of our business and family.

The choice is to Understand the Values & Behaviors of the Owner, the Company & the Successor.

Or NOT!

How many pay days do you have left?

The British Medical Association recently completed a study and determined that health care professionals that sold their practice at 65 years of age lived an average of 18 months while those that sold their practice at 60 years of age went on to live an average of 18 years.

So if 60 is the retirement goal …

And given that there are 12 months per year and 2 paydays per month, there are 24 paydays per year …

So if you are:

40 you have 20 years x 24 paydays – you have 480 paydays to get it right.
45 you have 15 years x 24 paydays – you have 360 paydays to get it right.
50 you have 10 years x 24 paydays – you have 240 paydays to get it right.
55 you have 5 years x 24 paydays – you have 120 paydays to get it right.

Hmmm!!

Blog Definition - A frequent, chronological publication of personal thoughts and Web links.

A blog is often a mixture of what is happening in a person's life and what is happening on the Web, a kind of hybrid diary/guide site, although there are as many unique types of blogs as there are people.

People maintained blogs long before the term was coined, but the trend gained momentum with the introduction of automated published systems, most notably Blogger at blogger.com. Thousands of people use services such as Blogger to simplify and accelerate the publishing process.

Blogs are alternatively called web logs or weblogs. However, "blog" seems less likely to cause confusion, as "web log" can also mean a server's log files.