The Way Of The Values Based Advisor
March 7, 2012 by Simon · Leave a Comment
Laura and I really enjoyed The Way staring Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez .
THE WAY is a powerful and inspirational story about family, friends and the challenges we face while navigating this ever-changing and complicated world.
Like meeting your unmet needs from the inside out offering this example by way of a quote from The Way, “The Way cannot be experienced for or through anyone else, it must be experienced for the self”.
Further, you cannot meet your unmet needs from or through business, career, clients, family, friends, money or possessions.
The values based advisor creates The Way through the writing and expression of their values, vision, purpose, mission and One Page Business Plan.
Andy Warhol said; “In the future everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes”. Back in 1991 I experienced some fame by having breakfast in Fiji with Tony & Becky Robbins, Martin & Janet Sheen and about a dozen other award winning Anthony Robbins Franchisees.
Maclean’s Magazine – Oprah’s Bad Advice?
March 14, 2011 by Simon · Leave a Comment
This March 14th, 2011 magazine cover caught my eye of Maclean’s Magazine with Oprah’s Bad Advice – A surprising number of self-help gurus are now admitting they are total screw ups. How does the most trusted woman in America explain that?
While I am not trying to take a stand on this and defend Oprah you would see by reading the article that the number is more like a few, not a surprising number.
The self-help gurus that appear on Oprah are human beings and there is an expression “we often teach what we need to learn the most” so their challenges will make their hearts grow stronger and their followers will learn from the self-help guru’s experience.
In my view, the few screwed up self-help gurus that the article mentions are suffering from Affluenza … Being on Oprah is just like winning the lottery!!!
Here are some thoughts that I have written about Affluenza from a few years back.
Affluenza
The term Affluenza is often associated with lottery winners that win huge amounts of money and then, for some reason, the huge fortune is gone in less than a year.
Affluenza – From Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia
Affluenza is a term used by critics of consumerism. It is a portmanteau word formed by the contraction of affluence and influenza. Sources define this term as follows:-
Affluenza, n. a painful, contagious, socially transmitted condition of overload, debt, anxiety and waste resulting from the dogged pursuit of more. (de Graaf, 2002)
Affluenza, n. 1. The bloated, sluggish and unfulfilled feeling that results from efforts to keep up with the Joneses. 2. An epidemic of stress, overwork, waste and indebtedness caused by dogged pursuit of the American Dream. 3. An unsustainable addiction to economic growth. (PBS)
Affluenza is what people go through when they get instant money through an inheritance or through winning a lottery.
They believe all along that if they could just get this money along with the art, boats, cars, clothes, cottages, homes, motorcycles, relationships, wine and travel that went along with it, then they would truly be happy.
Problem is, once the feeling of the windfall is over they are right back where they started with the negative belief of “what is wrong with me” combined with the negative emotions of despair and sadness all fuelled by the granddaddy of all unmet needs; worthiness.
What is really sad here is The Laws Of Attraction Are Absolute; you create what you focus on. If you keep asking “what is wrong with me” you will find the answer.
Be careful what you wish for.
Trick or Treat for UNICEF – Part 5
October 30, 2009 by Simon · Leave a Comment
Continued from Trick or Treat for UNICEF – Part 4
These stories will set the stage and connect you with;
Action Step 4 – Review your Story, Values, Positive Feelings and write down the Positive Beliefs that your actions were based on.
• I am dedicated
• I have conviction
• I create results for anything that I am committed to doing
As you can see, I started with “ I “ beliefs and I will revisit this with beliefs about; business, clients, health, people, knowledge, money, opportunity, family, friends, products, sales, speaking, spirit, strength, systems, talent, team and writing
From here this lays a strong foundation for;
Action Step 5 – Review your Story, Values, Positive Feelings and Positive Beliefs and Identify Your Strengths and Talents.
Action Step 6 – Review your Story, Values, Positive Feelings and Positive Beliefs and Identify Your Strengths and Talents and from this picture of yourself, from this place of what you are saying to yourself and from this feeling … Imagine that it is December 31, 2010, as you look at all areas of your business and personal lives, ask yourself;
• What did you accomplish?
• What goals did you set and achieve?
• What made you happy?
The Clear Your Roadblocks One Day Workshop – coming in January 2010
Action Step 1 – Write a Story, with as much detail as you can about when you were challenged and about how you did whatever it took to succeed.
Action Step 2 – Review the following list of Values and write down the Values that your actions were based on.
Action Step 3 – Review the following list of Positive Feelings and write down the Positive Feelings that your actions were based on.
Action Step 4 – Review your Story, Values, Positive Feelings and write down the Positive Beliefs that your actions were based on.
Action Step 5 – Review your Story, Values, Positive Feelings and Positive Beliefs and Identify Your Strengths and Talents.
Action Step 6 – Review your Story, Values, Positive Feelings and Positive Beliefs and Identify Your Strengths and Talents and from this picture of yourself, from this place of what you are saying to yourself and from this feeling … Imagine that it is December 31, 2010, as you look at all areas of your business and personal lives, ask yourself;
Action Step 7 – Values & Behaviors Assessment – ID Strengths & Areas To Strengthen
Action Step 8 – Write Challenging Story – When You Did Not Succeed
Action Step 9 – ID Emotions
Action Step 10 – ID Unmet Needs
Action Step 11 – ID Limiting Beliefs
Action Step 12 – Clear Emotions, Unmet Needs, Limiting Beliefs
Action Step 13 – Set 90 Day Goals & Affirm Them – Set Up Action & Attraction
Winners Never Quit, Quitters Never Win
October 19, 2009 by Simon · Leave a Comment
Quitters never allow their hearts to blaze with their Values and a Vision to make a difference because all they want to do is survive.
All quitters want is to have their situation remain the same or return to the way it was before, if it does happen to change, they want to go back to their daily routine of survival, they just play it safe to get their needs met and add little value to others.
Winners set ablaze their boats of safety, even at the cost of great suffering and they continue forward with Values fueling their commitment to their Vision. Winners champion their battles because they are not playing it safe trying to recreate the past.
We Have Definitely Outsmarted Ourselves Now – Jim Ruta
October 14, 2009 by Simon · Leave a Comment
Seems to me that the unmet needs that some non-values based financial advisors and investment advisors are trying to fulfill through money are not doing it and this is what I suspect is contributing to the problems that Jim Ruta is talking about in is October 6th, 2009 Blog – We Have Definitely Outsmarted Ourselves Now.
Financial advisors and investment advisors need to switch to becoming values based financial advisors and values based investment advisors.
Here are a few of Jim’s thoughts from his Blog;
- The average number of insurance sales per agent in Canada has dropped to fifteen (15). Yep, just 15. This used to be what you had to hand on the first day of a sales campaign to stay in the top five. 1.25 sales per month?
- Even then, more than 50% of life insurance sales are still replacements of existing business. So, just how much new “human life value” are we really protecting anymore?
To read all of Jim’s Blog, click We Have Definitely Outsmarted Ourselves Now.
Maslow’s identified the concept of unmet needs theory back in 1955.
This was right at the time of the advent of the electronic babysitter. 1955 was the advent of the electronic babysitter where children were put in front of this device and it took care of getting all their needs met instead of the parents. What am I talking about? TV. Now, to a certain extent, these same baby boomers have grown to adulthood and sometimes they, along with their generation X & Y offspring can’t put down their new electronic baby sitter, the Blackberry, iPhone, iPod or MP3 player.
The baby boomers’ parents were the Traditionalists born between 1927 and 1945 who went through a world war or two and the great depression. It’s my guess that they had no idea how to deal with their emotions and just stuffed them below the surface so they could go through the pain that they were going through.
When the boom of post world war two came along with the onslaught of the baby boomers, baby boomers were told, you are never going to have it as tough as I had it, you can have everything, but you may not deserve it while today’s generation X & Y children were told you can have everything that you deserve and have it all right now.
The electronic baby sitter and you can have set the stage for the lack of fulfillment that many baby boomers are starting to feel because while they have the art, boats, cars, clothes, cottages, homes, money, motorcycles, relationships, wine and travel an emptiness prevails along with; “is this all there is?”, and “what am I doing this for?”, and “what is the use?”. What’s worse, some of their offspring generation X & Y children lack ambition because they live an even more instant gratification world with the attention span off a nat.
This helps to explain why a lot of generation X & Y are not joining the ranks of the financial advisors where the average age of today’s financial advisor is 59 years old.
Why should generation X & Y want to be a financial advisor? The answer might lie in their observation of their parents chasing the dream of you can have it all, medicating their unmet needs outside of themselves, chasing art, boats, cars, clothes, cottages, homes, money, motorcycles, relationships, wine and travel while leaving their families behind to emotionally fend for themselves. You can’t give what you don’t have.
This explains the advent of the coaching movement, people might even want to hire a coach or a “fulfillment planner” rather than a financial advisor because they have got the money and it does not mean a lot to them.
This also explains the lack luster performance of a lot of financial advisors and investment advisors because they unconsciously thought that they could get their unmet needs met from money and possessions and when the reality of money and possessions don’t buy you happiness sets in with “is this all there is?”, and “what am I doing this for?”, and “what is the use?”, they have a total lack of inspiration.
Perhaps this ties in the concept of Affluenza.
Affluenza is what people go through when they get instant money through an inheritance or through winning a lottery.
They believe all along that if they could just get this money along with the art, boats, cars, clothes, cottages, homes, motorcycles, relationships, wine and travel that went along with it, then they would truly be happy.
Problem is, once the feeling of the windfall is over they are right back where they started except they now have the negative belief of “what is wrong with me” combined with the negative emotions of despair and sadness all fueled by the granddaddy of all unmet needs; worthiness.
What is really sad here is The Laws OF Attraction Are Absolute; you create what you focus on. If you keep asking “what is wrong with me” you will find the answer.
Be careful what you wish for.
EGO Time Management
October 9, 2009 by Simon · Leave a Comment
Here is a portion of an e-mail that I sent to one of my financial advisor coaching clients / investment advisor coaching clients after a coaching call.
You have everything that you need.
To think with the ego is to think like a victim with thoughts like; I am too busy or I have too much to do or I’ll never it all done.
Get that the ego;
- Has only one focus and that is surviving the present moment
- Tricks you into thinking that everything is urgent and has to be done right now and that everything is an A priority
- Has no concept of time because all it can think of surviving the present moment
- Has no scope of the infinite power of time
- Runs you with busy thoughts and busy work versus you running your company, life and time
- Keeps you busy to avoid the emotions that are tied to the unmet needs of approval, control, recognition, safety and worthiness … what would happen if you stopped to manage your life, your business and your time … what would that feel like … better get busy, no time to do that … I have to keep on surviving, chasing approval and recognition taking too much time to over control everything to prove that I am worthy!
- Wants to keep com- “pounding” you with fear and limiting beliefs all fueled by unmet needs.
You get the infinite power of time when you identify all of your projects, prioritize them, estimate the time required, delegate what can be delegated, block out / schedule the time and act … the infinite power of time is getting that things take less time than the ego thought 90% of the time. With this realization your can celebrate what you accomplish versus I am too busy or I have too much to do or I’ll never it all done.
To avoid urgent client requests;
- e-mail your group insurance clients requesting 72 hours notice to process their information requests in preparation for union meetings
- call your group insurance clients every two weeks and ask them if they are going to require anything in the next two weeks
- stop answering the phone, reply to your clients by e-mail asking them what they need and they will get the best way to contact you is via e-mail which will allow you to be in charge of your time … not more time wasted on hold or with telephone tag.
You Don’t Have A Secret, The Secret Has You
July 13, 2009 by Simon · Leave a Comment
There is an expression … you don’t have a secret, the secret has you.
Taking it a step further, you don’t have unmet needs, limiting beliefs and limiting emotions, they have you.
Rather, the fear based ego mind has you because the fear based ego mind has the unmet needs, limiting beliefs and limiting emotions and it has you convinced and addicted to the all kinds of lies about yourself.
The fear based ego mind has you in a trap thinking that if you ever shared its secret then some terrible things would happen.
The challenge is the terrible things are prone to continue to happen harboring the unmet needs, limiting beliefs and limiting emotions.
The laws of attraction are absolute and you will attract the evidence to make the unmet needs, limiting beliefs and limiting emotions real.
As an example; the unmet need of safety creates the limiting beliefs of “I don’t have any money” and “I don’t have any time” and the unmet need and the limiting beliefs fuel the limiting emotions of anxiety and fear.
The truth will set you free.
Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning that you give it.
You are a being and you are not your fear based ego mind.
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Dates for 2012 TBA - stay tuned!
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Now Reading
Planned books:
- Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
- The Book Of Air And Shadows: A Novel by Michael Gruber
Current books:
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Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
Recent books:
- The Brave: A Novel by Nicholas Evans
- The Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway
- The Angel’s Game by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
- Shadow Of The Wind by Carlos Zafon
- The Outlander by Gil Adamson
